Am Yisrael Chai

When I first came to Israel I was perplexed by the national preoccupation with the news, every single bus train or taxi journey was punctuated with silence, as the hourly news was turned up full volume and shared with one and all; after the headlines, the chatter and music would continue as the gathered audience had registered the news updates.

Now I am living in a “war zone” I am continually scanning the internet for the latest updates, even if they rip out my guts and tear out my heart simultaneously.

Living in Israel is not an easy option, it is not for the faint hearted; I live in Gush Etzion, not far from Jerusalem, not that far from Bet Shemish;  I guess I am an “accidental settler”.  Living in a somewhat shaky two room prefab home on a Judean hill sounds romantic even idyllic, most of the time one would have to agree. One learns to adapt to  having what one needs, not desires, living near to nature, surrounded by a caring and supportive community, it is I believe, an excellent way to live ones “retirement”  years. Although my Son, Daughter in law and grandchildren live in Kansas every outbreak of war here makes me more committed to my country and my people. 

Currently,  the war has blown away any feeling of well-being; although where I live we  are not really in any unequivocal danger, the noise of the rumblings and thuds, military air craft and celebratory gun shots, from our not so friendly neighbors over the hill can make even the most “stoic Brit”  a little uneasy, to say the least. 

There is an underlying danger; there are protests and rioting and attempted kidnappings not far away in Jerusalem, one is aware of the tension in the air everyone is affected somehow.

In many ways if you live in a “safe” area life seemingly goes on as normal, children are born, there are Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, summer camps school holidays, shopping trips to the supermarket even people going out for coffee; 

However even here the war touches us, the yeshuve sent round a list of over 30 men and boys, our sons, fathers, Rabbis and teachers that are now fighting in the war against terror. One of our young men was injured and hospitalized, and one of the fallen soldiers whose smiling face stares out from pages of the internet was a local resident from Efrat as the news comes through your heart misses a beat. We say Baruch Dayan Ha Emet, “Hashem is the true judge” but how can those words comfort the parents, sibling’s wives, children, friends and loved ones of these beyond brave young men.

Everyone I know has a son, daughter, husband, father, brother or close friend involved in this war, no one is unscathed we all are interlinked.

Earlier this week I had to go to Jerusalem, a friend dropped me at the bus stop at Gush Etzion junction, where an acquaintance from a nearby yeshuve drove by and offered me a ride into town, during our 20 minute ride, we listened to the news on the radio, which was interrupted five times with various code red warnings for people in the south.  

Jerusalem has its quota of tourists, while the locals are still shopping and working, however on the buses there is more space, the seats are taken by women  of all ages who saying are tehilim more fervently  than normal, look into their faces, they are lined with fear as their eyes are brim with tears. 

Look around the streets after a few minutes you realize that the majority of the young men are missing; only the tourists and retirees are sitting outside the coffee shops. The majority of the young men you do see are dressed in IDF uniform green carrying over sized rucksacks running for the buses to various bases all over the country.

Outside Café Hillel, sat a group of five men in their late fifty’s to early seventies, they talk about their military campaigns, their grandchildren at the front, their experiences hopes and fears; I have time in between have my computer fixed so stop for a coffee, as pay and leave the waitress adds “stay safe” to her goodbye.

Stay safe, has become the greeting here, Stay safe when you are going about your everyday life; 

We have relatively few sirens in this area  and are lucky to have 90 seconds warning, in the south they have 15. What can you do in 15 seconds?

People shower in swim suits; food shopping is done between sirens, if you think that is possible to find time when you have between 10-15 red alerts or sirens a day in your area. 

The elderly and disabled stay put and pray; the children are taught what to do at an early age and are skilled at staying calm and taking cover but is that a way for kids to spend their lives?

We are all affected, we constantly watch the news scan the internet listen to the radio, we want to know, we need to know, and when we know, we don’t want to know.

Overhead I hear rumblings, booms, thuds, aircraft or helicopters, at first when we were being targeted we went to bed dressed “respectably” in case we had to dash to the safer  houses, we all delayed going to bed in case we had to get up.

Having identified the “safest” area of my prefab home, I soon realized that I wouldn't make it in time to the nearest safe room, so I stay put cover my head with a pillow and pray.

There is an incredible “war spirit” here, people collecting snacks and essentials for soldiers , attending funerals and Shiva’s of our fallen boys, looking after the families of the chaylim; the love of each Jew for each other is heightened at times like this. 

Unlike our enemies our government is committed to saving the lives of and protecting every single citizen.

This is not a time to be alone,last Shabbat a groups of us joined forces for meals and support this Shabbat I am not sure how many overseas girls are eating at my home I have room for seven in my tiny prefab but we could always take the meal outside.  We are reaching out to one and other in many simple ways.  It is reported that over 15,000 Israelis attended the funeral of lone IDF soldier Max Steinberg, we are paying our respects and saying thank you for the ultimate sacrifice the only way we know, with one voice and heart.

It’s only been 16 days so far; It feels so much longer, my normal strength and resolve when fighting personal medical battles has almost disappeared, I find myself feeling tired and emotional; so tired of the endless lists of red alerts and sirens, so tired of the endless Anti-Israel and Anti –Semitic news reports, so sickened by the endless list of casualty’s, so worried for the sanity of our people living under the constant barrage of missiles coming over from Gaza.

I am tired so tired; I dread every news report but I am addicted to knowing what is going on; from the news reports we see the faces of our heroes, and the listings of our casualties; one scans the lists, and through the tears for one of our beautiful brave   young sons, there is a little sigh of relief that the name is not one of my sons friends or my friends sons; I don’t know honestly how I would cope with that.

Last night after a day of false hopes, long list, and emotional battering we heard that many airlines had banned fights in and out of Israel. Not that I am in a position leave at the moment  it was quite a blow, a feeling of being trapped; even though the ban was imposed for 24 hours only.

So, yes I have faith and emunah, I do believe our army like our people have God on our side; but enough is enough; too many lives ( on both sides) have been lost, too many children traumatized , too many peoples livelihood’s wrecked, too many mothers ,fathers , wives, children & girlfriends having sleepless nights worrying about their loved ones.

To put this in real terms it has taken me just over 90 minutes to write this blog, in that time over 14 rockets have rained down on Israel mainly in the south.

We are a small, yet strong people; we are not giving up, this nation whose national anthem is about hope, we live in a tiny resilient young county, we are protected by a young brave powerful army but we are human, and we care for and about each other, so we scan the news reports and cry together.

 Stay safe people of Israel,  stay brave people of Israel, stay resilient people of Israel, stay hopeful people of Israel   Am Yisrael  Chai.

Son's Of Israel- May Their Memories Be A Blessing

 I am not a writer, I have no such claim to fame, I am writing  as a mother and a grandmother, as a British Israeli citizen, as a Jewess, I am writing this simply  from my heart.  

Just over three weeks ago in a spot less than seven minutes from the place I call home, three teenage boys were kidnapped.

In the space of the past eighteen days the names of Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Frankel, have become household names not only in Israel but across the world.

An international "Bring Back our Boys" social media campaign sprung up within hours of their kidnapping.

Side by side religious and non-religious Jews, and non-Jews prayed and called out for the return of these young men; people who would normally not have any thing in common,came together in unity and solidarity of one cause to return the boys to their parents.

It is said that when one Jew cries we all cry , as we are intrinsically  linked. Over the past 18 days we cried out with one soul with one being, these boys are our boys, they are part of our nation and belonged to each and every one of us.

Within the past 18 days  the mothers of the boys have been catapulted unwittingly into fame as they spoke about their sons and asked people to pray for their return; the strength and faith of these women have captured the imagination of the world. "Hashem does not work for us" is the unforgettable line that Mrs. Rachel Frenkel gave us; meaning we have to do his bidding and his will, not him ours.

For 18 days these boys brought Kla Yisroel together, we took on extra mitzvoth, gave tzedakah baked challah, and stormed the gates of heaven in the name of  Eyal, Gilad and Naftali.

For 18 days, tirelessly members of the IDF and volunteers have searched every nook and cranny in the Gush for these young men.

For 18 days we had faith and spoke of little else but our boys.

This is a small country, one does not have to look far to find someone who knows, or is related to one of   these three families in this small nation, we the parents and grand parents of Israel were as one almost paralyzed with fear as we spoke with bated breath about our boys. 

Tonight, the devastating news came that the bodies of our boys, our sons, Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Frankel, were found less than 20 minutes from my home.

My heart is weary, this is not the first recent  mindless  act of terrorism to target young people in this area , in April  2009, Shlomo Nativ, aged 13 was murdered with an axed  in cold blood in the center of Bat Ayin the village where I live, bringing unbelievable heartache to our community, the murder of Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali opens old wounds.

For eighteen days Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Frankel  kept us united. 
Please let us continue in their memory to show solidarity;  promise  to be kind to one another;  lets avenge their death with love and  unity, cohesion and harmony  not random acts of mindless hatred and violence .

Tonight all over the world there are parents who can kiss there kids good night, there are  parents who can send at the very least send their sons and dauters an SMS to say I love you, safe in the knowledge that their child of whatever age is alive. Tonight in the heart of Israel are three families who will never be able to do that again.

Tonight as the relatives and friends of Eyal, Gilad and Naftali, cope with their devastating loss,and prepare to morn, we the mothers and fathers grandmothers and grandfathers of Israel morn with you; your loss is our loss, we cry with you and share your pain for it is our pain too.

Our hearts, love and prayers must be with families  Frankel, Shaar,& Yifrach, May he who comforts all the mourners of Zion comfort all Zion for the loss of the three young boys who so many of us never met but took into our hearts. 

This Too Will Pass. In Memory of My Father on his 30th Yartzite.

     

Special Pre Three Weeks Shuir in Memory of Meir Yitzach Ben Avraham Yisroel ( Geoffrey Mark Safier ) for his 30^th Yartzite                                                          Given by Rachelle Silver

On Lunch time Monday 24^th June at 1.15 pm

"This Too Will Pass" –

"A guide to Getting Though the Darkness of the Three Weeks with strength".

As we approach the three weeks I do so with a heavy heart, not only it this historically a time of horrors and trauma for the Jewish people but for all of humanity too.

The 17th of Tammuz is the first of four fast days mentioned in the prophets. The purpose of a fast day is to awaken our sense of loss over the destroyed Temple – and the subsequent Jewish journey into exile.

What Happened on the 17th of Tammuz?

Five great catastrophes occurred in Jewish history on the 17th of Tammuz:

• Moshe broke the tablets at Mount Sinai – in response to the sin of the Golden Calf.
• The daily offerings in the First Temple were suspended during the siege of Jerusalem, after the Kohanim could no longer obtain animals.
• Jerusalem's walls were breached, prior to the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE.

• Prior to the Great Revolt, the Roman general Apostamos burned a Torah scroll – setting a precedent for the horrifying burning of Jewish books throughout the centuries.
• An idolatrous image was placed in the Sanctuary of the Holy Temple – a brazen act of blasphemy and desecration.

Agonizing over these events is meant to help us conquer those spiritual deficiencies which brought about these tragic events. Through the process of "Teshuva" – self-introspection and a commitment to improve – we have the power to transform tragedy into joy. In fact, the Talmud says that after the future redemption of Israel and the rebuilding of the Temple, these fast days will be re-dedicated as days of rejoicing and festivity.

As we look around us this time of the year is a time of horrendous and tragic news that’s is not just effects the Jewish people but all mankind. As we approach the three weeks and throughout the three weeks I steel myself for all kinds of shocking, depressing, and alarming events to be broadcast and constantly say  to myself this too will pass.  

So why do we have to go through dark and desperate times? Let's go back a bit and look at the Torah.

 Look  at the end of  Bəmidbar ,it says "these are the journeys of the Israelites, who left Mitzriam ( Egypt) in organized groups under the leadership of Moshe & Aharon; Moshe recorded their stops along the way as Hashem commanded. " 

For the next forty three verses the Torah lists every single one of the   42 places that the children of Israel stopped and camped in the desert on their way to Israel.  What makes these 42 stops important enough to list in the Torah?   

Each one of the forty two stops on the very lengthy challenging   journey from Egypt to Israel marked a step of assent to a higher level to become closer to Hashem

According to the Midrash, each stop constitutes another step towards their goal. which was complete spiritual commitment and total belief in Hashem and his greatness. As well as to enter the Promised Land.

Therefore listing each stop will remind generations to come, that although the journey was arduous and full of setbacks and dark times, but in the end the Children of Israel reached their destination.

The Torah presents a pattern for all Jewish people,  and  for every neshama that comes into this physical world: we all are meant to go through 42 major trials from the time of birth till re return our soul to our maker; during that time we will all experience a number of assents and descents of varying intensity, highs and lows, light and darkness till we grow. Each trial or stop we have will take us to the next level of our personal journey. We halt, we cry we despair, we feel inadequate, and then we make it through.

In The book " The Garden of Emunah" by Rabbi Shalom Arush", he reminds us that Hashem only sends us trials and tests  to prompt us  to turn to him, when everything is going along hunky dory , we fall into a trap and can forget that everything comes from Hashem. When we pray and call out to Hashem from the bottom of our heart that strengthens our connection and our Emunah.  Emunah & Prayer is our amour in our battle against dark, distressing & challenging times in our life.

I liken the three weeks to a personal journey that I have to take every year, as It approaches I notice the news not only in the  Jewish world but the international world is grim, things happen that are scary to say the least, I prepare to  enter a long dark tunnel that has an uneven surface, I trip, struggle, bang myself, get up heal, move forward  trip again:

I remember this is from Hashem, heal a bit quicker move further forward  and then trip again but this time as I get up I see a dim light at the end of the tunnel, with strength from Emunah, prayer and resolve I move towards the exit, with my battle scars but stronger for the journey.

Sometimes when we dread something more than anything we make the situation worse than it is.

I was incredibly close to my Father, he was not just my father, he was my friend and advisor, an incredibly intelligent creative humorous human being. We could talk about ANYTHING. He was the first foodie I ever met and would advise me on flavors, his eye for color cut and fashion made him my clothes shopping buddy of choice, his knowledge of antiques and history would have us talking at great lengths, while his observation of human nature mixed in with humor would have me giggling down the phone line during our twice daily phone calls.

My father wasn't an observant man, but he taught me to be polite, to care for your fellow Jew, and if you don’t have money to give to others to give your time. He taught me to always see the other persons side, and that everyone has a place in this world and deserves respect.

My  close friends knew that My father was the most important person on the planet for me, and me for him, his increasing ill health was an persistent  worry for me. I use to say "What I will do when my father dies".

My friends and I expected me to crumble, many thought I might never recover.

On the 18^th Av, 30 years ago, my father suddenly without warning, at the age of 56 returned his soul to his maker he had been joking with a nurse, laughed smiled had a major stroke and died in a matter of seconds. I had seen my father 48 hours earlier, prior to my visit to the North of England for three days. In the days preceding cell phones, from a public phone box in a country pub near Durham, I phoned where I was staying in Newcastle, to say I had been delayed and to eat without me, they told me the police had been and my Father had died.

It was seven hours after his death that the light went out in my life. I screamed the loudest scream I have ever heard leave my body, collapsed on the floor and apparently said nothing but "no, no no", for four hours of the overnight drive back across the country. Stopping at phone boxes and a good friend overnight to arrange, my father's Funeral people were informed of his premature death as the pennies ran out.

I sat Shiva on my own, my parents were divorced and he had no siblings or other children; some brought me the book the Jewish way in death and mourning, I was fascinated. On the last day of the Shiva I didn't leave my bedroom, hiding away from reality, the prayers went on without me. My grandmother (my mother's mother) came to my apartment the day I got up from Shiva, and she said today we will walk round the block together. This she explained was so my first encounter with the outside world someone had  to accompany me on this walk: I lived by the sea, the wind blew through my hair, I walked with someone who loved me and whom I loved, I realized that  although life would never be the same, I could and would survive.

Out of the depths of my grief I started an ongoing dialog with Hashem, I asked for strength to get through, I asked for the ability to believe that all things are for a reason.

From the lowest point of my enveloping darkness and despair 16 long months later I reached the pinnacle of pure unadulterated Joy. As my newborn baby son was placed in my arms. As I looked down and saw his face, I knew that I had come through a very dark place into sunshine. 

The three weeks is a difficult desperate period.

You will feel stressed, confused, dark times, discombulated.

Situations and people might feel out of control.

The way to get through this is multi-facetted

Remember and keep reminding yourself everything in life  is  from Hashem, it is heaven sent  every little thing is for a purpose , some we do not understand, we don’t want to even try, just accept it with pure Emunah… kicking against something won't change things and will only make it worse.

Every time you hear bad news or feel distressed say to yourself this is the time of bad news this too will pass

 

Think before you act and speak: historically this is a time of conflict. Also Frayed tempers On Sunday, 28 June 1914, at approximately 10:45 am, Franz Ferdinand and his wife were killed in Sarajevo, the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire by an angry young man, one Gavrilo Princip, 19, the event led to a chain of events that eventually triggered World War I.   This broke out during the 3 weeks, an event in the wider world that greatly affected European Jewry.

 

 

Every time you stumble, arm yourself with prayer and Emunah, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov said "life makes warriors of us all to emerge the victor we must aim our self with the most potent of weapons, Prayer."  So you're in that tunnel, you stumble, it’s a setback, but you can get through with prayer.

 

If we think back over our history we as individuals or as a people have survived seemingly unbearable pain but we have come through with strength.

Yosef, was thrown into prison, but we learn that all times he danced , his demeanor got him through, he was polite and cheerful, the guards warmed to him, he was released to the most powerful position in Egypt.

More recently when in camps the Jews marched to the gas chambers defiantly, singing "Ani Ma amin, be emuno sh'laymo.  I believe with complete faith "  from the 13 principals of faith. When others faced with this kind of situation would have run kicking and screaming, as Jews we walked with our heads held high believing that everything that everything comes from Hashem.

The three weeks is a test we have to go through every year, but with Emunah, love for your fellow Jew, prayer understanding, you will get though that tunnel, So hang on to your seats this will be a bumpy ride,  Don’t lose  site of the end of the journey, you will get through. This time will pass, As they say in the classics what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, Out of dark and difficult times come amazing strength and good times; the Maharal of Prague reminds us that after the three weeks of complete darkness and in some cases despair that our future redeemer is to be born on the 9th of Av. May Hashem grant you all the insight and strength & Emunah to get through & may we we see the redemption of our people soon.

 

Senior Citizen

 

I need a card to tell me?

This morning a friend brought me my post, and among bills, birthday cards and junk mail was an official looking envelope from the Ministry for Senior Citizens. Out of the envelope tumbled a silver card officially identifying me as over 62, and therefore able to receive certain discounts.

 

I am not sure about other countries, do they have a ministry just for the seniors of the land? Do they automatically send out discount cards the day before your 62nd birthday so you have it in time?

 

In fact, even though I feel very young at heart it is very comforting that this government also has one member of the Knesset,  Uri Orbach who is the minster for senior citizens and he is in post to  deal with the issues facing an ever increasing aged population.

 

So the day has come, this week a social worker and I will fill in the forms for my Israeli government pension, and I am then officially a pensioner.

 

When I was twenty I really never though much about getting older. Now I really don't feel that I am older.

 

Over the years I have gown, developed, matured and accepted nature and the clicking clock.

I am so lucky to live in the age of social media, and can daily get updates from my old school and youth club friends, although we are all grandparents,  we log on  play word games and chat together,  seeming  as young as ever, oblivious to the years and distances between us.  I have to say we have all aged very well and not a Botox mark in sight.

 

Because I teach online, I speak daily  to so many incredibly interesting people from all over the globe , about a multitude of fascinating subjects,therefore I am better informed about current affairs than I ever was in my youth; my mind is constantly  stimulated. I might not emerge from my village on the hilltop very often but I have the world at my fingertips.

 

In some societies the elderly are discarded, in others revered for their wisdom and insight. I realized today when I gave a shuir, that life experience is an amazing advantage over youth. I might not be able to climb a mountain, but at least I know how to circumnavigate it, along with most of what life throws up at me without throwing  me into a tizzy.

 

In my youth I was all over the place, searching for something franticly burning the candle at both ends, rarely listening to any opinion of anyone but my own. ( and I hardly stopped to listen to that!) Oy the frazzle, it was tiring being that dizzy. 

 

Now I am a grandmother, how can that be? where did those years go? I am so proud when I proclaim grandparent status its a very important milestone in ones life. However, I live among young people, many of my friends are half my age, they keep me young. I enjoy sharing my knowledge and skills with the younger generation when asked too.

 

Maturity , perceptiveness and the ability to know when to advise and when to keep silent   is such a great gift that comes with age.

 

I totally embrace my senior citizen status, getting here has been a long and at times somewhat difficult journey, so thank you Ministry of Senior citizens for recognizing this journey and my achievements, I humbly accept your silver  senior citizen discount card.   

 

 

Quality of Life

 

What is quality of 
life?

Much is spoken about the quality of life and its importance this made me think about my evolving opinion on this subject .

Life is forever changing as we journey through it.  One thing is for certain what equates quality of life for one person might not be the same for another.


For some quality might measured by quantity, happiness or Nevada is only reached with financial stability, an extremely   large house, the latest fashion, dining at the top restaurants, jetting off for expensive holidays bedecked with jewels.

Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having a  comfortable house, good clothes or a healthy bank account  but is that the basis for measuring  happiness?  Give me health and family over designer clothes and vintage wine any time.

• My quality of life has always been about interaction with others, being a little  different ,about being almost a workaholic  high energy with fingers in may pies. 
• My quality of life has been about family and friends,and sharing simchas.
• My quality of life has been about exploration of new  places and opportunities 

In my twenties I wizzed between Ladbrook grove and Brixton trying to save the world, while downing vast amounts of Newcastle brown and  Spanish plonko . I learnt to make authentic  Indian, Spanish and Mexican food and hardly sat down the whole decade.

In my thirties I was a  wife  (short lived )and  mother living the charmed life, always entertaining  and catering vast dinner parties. I juggled work home, and a busy social life with being a mother, to a very active, but much loved child ,who's every new antic scored high on the quality of life scale. 

My forties  and fifties  were equally high energy, In between travel three jobs, single parenthood and Alyiah. I might have collapsed into bed a 8.30 pm when I could. However, my waking hours were jammed packed with somewhat stressful but always  very satisfying  activity.

If you had met me four  years back I was full of the adventuring spirit. (I made Aliyah at 54.)
I was the person who three or four days a week who would get up at 4 am, prepare the day time food for a 10-12 young women the  midrashet where I lived as dorm mum.  By 5.30 am  after a quick shower and change , tremp( hitch hike)  my way to Bet Shemish station to catch the train to Tel Aviv, to be in somewhere like Or Yehuda by 8.30 am. I would  teach three lessons, go on to Rishon , teach there,attend a meeting In Tel Aviv , travel back via Jerusalem to visit my family or friends, arrive home about 8.30 or 9 pm ( tired yet?)  I spent three to four  hours on duty as an em bayit, ( dorm Mum) either planning the students Sabbath meals or supporting and counselling them after checking my emails, slaughtering a scorpion or administering first aid  I would  fall into bed.

Every minute of my day was packed with people , adventure, stories, and life's lessons. I would laugh my way through the day, treasure the opportunity to people watch, thank God for every bus and train connection or awesome ride. 

Although  it wasn't an easy life, and not one  many would chose, living in a caravan  perched down a massive hill , sharing a kitchen with  many other women, killing scorpions on a daily basis, albeit  a life a life where   being  tired was an understatement . I was happy, my quality of life was great.

• I was daily in contact with other people, I lived in one of the most beautiful areas of Israel. Every week I would travel miles around the country meet extraordinary people and make a  little difference to their lives. 
• My son and daughter in law lived half an hour away.
• Every morning I would watch the sun rise 
• Every evening see the most phenomenal sun sets from my small window on the world
• I would sit outside my caravan, cup of Earl grey in my hand, cat on my lap, listen to the local donkey braying , count my blessings and all was good in my world.

In the past six months my life has drastically  changed,  I still live in the same village, ( now at the top of the hill !) My view is excellent, the people here amazing. However my health has taken a down turn, six months ago when I visited my family in the US, although tired I managed to almost ( its not an easy thing) keep pace with my then 30 month old grandson. 

Nowadays my week is punctuated by visits to and from medical appointments, my mobility is limited, as they say the spirit is willing but the flesh is very weak.   Constant dizziness and fainting have slowed me down physically, but mentally my mind is as fast as ever.

Whereas Shabbat meals use to be a veritable display of my culinary talents, with at least seven salatim, ( Israeli salads at the start of a meal, ) soup ,spelt Challas  with olive or spelt and zatar  stuffing. Two mains and at list three sides and two deserts to delight my guests, Keeping it simple is the operative word nowadays.
This Shabbat I have chicken soup ( courtesy of two friends) simple garlic roasted chicken  with roasted beet and orange salad, a green salad and passion fruits for  Shabbat sustenance.

As my physical strength has waned I have moved the enjoyment goal posts .
Two weeks ago my doctor surprised me by saying, "your Illness is really effecting your quality of life."  I though long and hard about this comment.

I then said "No my quality of life is different, I have moved the goal posts."

I can still enjoy a cup of tea in the sunshine it just might take me longer to make it and move outside. A trip to Jerusalem is normally for medical appointments , but bumping in to friends, grabbing an early morning coffee in the Shuk watching the market traders unpack their goods still gives me untold pleasure.
I can still smile at and appreciate my friends children and grand children.
I still get untold pleasure from my grandchildren, every picture, video uploaded and Skype call keeps me smiling for hours if not days.

Yes. life has thrown me a curve ball, and a big one but I can use my experience to give support and love to others.

I might not have a buzzing social life , as getting to functions and the risk of infections is sometimes too great.  Instead  I have a very good virtual social world not only through teaching on line but also family  friends and contacts all over the world whom I relate to though social media.

Life is a funny thing, we get one crack at it. To my mind one can see beauty and pleasure in all the little things, grab the lemons and make lemonade to share , or dwell on the past and what might have been. 
I decided quite sometime ago that I have to take what life throws at me and run with it.

Every day I count my blessings, my family, my home, my friends ,  most of all the blessing of flexibility and adaptability without which I might  not grasp how good my quality of life really is. 

That Special Birthday Gift

When I was  just 16, my mother remarried, I went from being an only child to having siblings, two brothers and a sister.

Maxine is seven months one day older than me and pint size, but she is my little big sister, and me at 5'8 is her big little sister! 

As teenager we really were close perhaps  closer than most real blood sisters, maybe because of the size difference , we couldn't fight about borrowing each others clothes!

We both  had always wanted to have a sister  someone to confide in, to giggle with, do the twist with, to wrap our hair in rollers, to stick sellotape on each others fringes to keep them straight, after all this was Britain of the  mid 1960's.  

Right through  our late  teenage years, though to our early 40's we were there for each other, we didn't live in each others pockets  but if we needed each other we were there. We were more than relations we were friends.

Life sometimes has funny twist and turns , we didn't argue we just drifted apart.
I would hear about  Maxine and her family though the grapevine and she about me.

Last year we rediscovered each other though Facebook, we spoke on line every day, sometimes 3-4 times a day , we caught up , we shared recipes ( she had all the good Pesach cake ones !!) pictures of our grand children, knitting advice, we were proud mothers and grandmothers in our early 60's  kevelling ! She still  gave me unsolicited advice , and as the younger sister I am  duty bound to listen ..

Recently Maxine said nothing has changed, we may have got older, but its like we are 16 years old again, sitting in the bed room in Furze Croft sharing our life secrets.

We may not be blood sisters, but she is the best sister I could have ever have,

On Friday I sent Maxine a what app message, she never replied,I knew she had had dental surgery and thought she was still under the weather. 

After Sabbath I got a message from her son  it started " This is a hard message to type. Yesterday my mum (Maxine ) had a massive heart attack at home .."

As I read the message  my heart was in my mouth I couldn't believe it.

Sunday morning I want to share a joke with Maxine, as I realized she wasn't able to respond tears rolled down my face.

As I write this Maxine is in the ICU in Brighton, UK, and I am in Israel,there are many reasons why I can't just hop on a plane , but my nephew and I have been messaging  continually. 

The doctors are not so hopeful, but I know that Maxine is a fighter,  she has fought all her life ,I am davening ( praying) my whole village is praying people all over the world are praying  to the biggest doctor on high, the one that can perform miracles .

 Maxine is very special. She has never aspired to put the world to rights, she has lived all her life in the same town, worked in the same job for nearly 20 years, been the most amazing loyal loving and supportive wife, mother, grandmother , sister and friend. Maxine has a beaming smile , a wicked laugh, a vibrant zest for life.

 Maxine  is always there for the people she loves. She is very sensible and down to earth, With Maxine what you see is what you get.

I am so happy that we had this past year again.....

Maxine, your family love you we  are rooting for you ,  come on sis, I have just found you again that has to count for something. ....   

Counting the Blessings...

  

2012 has passed never to be repeated.  it was a roller-coaster of a year, not only for myself but for many other I know dealing with health other issues.

It was  a year of highs and lows, its easy to be negative , but thankfully that is not my nature therefore I have to say on reflection 2012  was a year of mostly a year of gratitude and blessings.

I am  sitting here in Israel on the first day of 2013 counting my blessings.

I am blessed with such amazing good friends.
I am blessed  with living an an age when technology  makes it easier  to live away from family and friends,because in a touch of a button they are near or with you. 

I am blessed with living less than 45 minutes from the old city of Jerusalem &  the kottel.( western wall). 

I am blessed with a good brain ( I think although I don't always use it) a quick wit, an open mind and heart.

I am blessed that I live in an area of outstanding   beauty, of countryside and  its people.

I am blessed with the most amazing  and dedicated medical team who really do  care not just about me but about all their patients.

I am so blessed that I can see the hand of Hashem in so many parts of my every day life.

I am blessed to have seen my son grow into a mature, responsible  nurturing & careing  loving husband and father.

I am blessed with a witty, beautiful and intelligent daughter in law who is the most amazing mother to my biggest blessings of all my beautiful wonderful Grandchildren (who I don't see enough of) but when I see them make me count my blessing 1,000000 time plus a day.

2012 might have been a hard year  but it was also a one of blessings . What is in your gratitude jar today? 

I wish all my dear family and friends near and far a happy, healthy, 2013  may it be a year filled with strength  wisdom  love, laughter, magic moments , and a multitude of  countable blessing.