Am Yisrael Chai

When I first came to Israel I was perplexed by the national preoccupation with the news, every single bus train or taxi journey was punctuated with silence, as the hourly news was turned up full volume and shared with one and all; after the headlines, the chatter and music would continue as the gathered audience had registered the news updates.

Now I am living in a “war zone” I am continually scanning the internet for the latest updates, even if they rip out my guts and tear out my heart simultaneously.

Living in Israel is not an easy option, it is not for the faint hearted; I live in Gush Etzion, not far from Jerusalem, not that far from Bet Shemish;  I guess I am an “accidental settler”.  Living in a somewhat shaky two room prefab home on a Judean hill sounds romantic even idyllic, most of the time one would have to agree. One learns to adapt to  having what one needs, not desires, living near to nature, surrounded by a caring and supportive community, it is I believe, an excellent way to live ones “retirement”  years. Although my Son, Daughter in law and grandchildren live in Kansas every outbreak of war here makes me more committed to my country and my people. 

Currently,  the war has blown away any feeling of well-being; although where I live we  are not really in any unequivocal danger, the noise of the rumblings and thuds, military air craft and celebratory gun shots, from our not so friendly neighbors over the hill can make even the most “stoic Brit”  a little uneasy, to say the least. 

There is an underlying danger; there are protests and rioting and attempted kidnappings not far away in Jerusalem, one is aware of the tension in the air everyone is affected somehow.

In many ways if you live in a “safe” area life seemingly goes on as normal, children are born, there are Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, summer camps school holidays, shopping trips to the supermarket even people going out for coffee; 

However even here the war touches us, the yeshuve sent round a list of over 30 men and boys, our sons, fathers, Rabbis and teachers that are now fighting in the war against terror. One of our young men was injured and hospitalized, and one of the fallen soldiers whose smiling face stares out from pages of the internet was a local resident from Efrat as the news comes through your heart misses a beat. We say Baruch Dayan Ha Emet, “Hashem is the true judge” but how can those words comfort the parents, sibling’s wives, children, friends and loved ones of these beyond brave young men.

Everyone I know has a son, daughter, husband, father, brother or close friend involved in this war, no one is unscathed we all are interlinked.

Earlier this week I had to go to Jerusalem, a friend dropped me at the bus stop at Gush Etzion junction, where an acquaintance from a nearby yeshuve drove by and offered me a ride into town, during our 20 minute ride, we listened to the news on the radio, which was interrupted five times with various code red warnings for people in the south.  

Jerusalem has its quota of tourists, while the locals are still shopping and working, however on the buses there is more space, the seats are taken by women  of all ages who saying are tehilim more fervently  than normal, look into their faces, they are lined with fear as their eyes are brim with tears. 

Look around the streets after a few minutes you realize that the majority of the young men are missing; only the tourists and retirees are sitting outside the coffee shops. The majority of the young men you do see are dressed in IDF uniform green carrying over sized rucksacks running for the buses to various bases all over the country.

Outside Café Hillel, sat a group of five men in their late fifty’s to early seventies, they talk about their military campaigns, their grandchildren at the front, their experiences hopes and fears; I have time in between have my computer fixed so stop for a coffee, as pay and leave the waitress adds “stay safe” to her goodbye.

Stay safe, has become the greeting here, Stay safe when you are going about your everyday life; 

We have relatively few sirens in this area  and are lucky to have 90 seconds warning, in the south they have 15. What can you do in 15 seconds?

People shower in swim suits; food shopping is done between sirens, if you think that is possible to find time when you have between 10-15 red alerts or sirens a day in your area. 

The elderly and disabled stay put and pray; the children are taught what to do at an early age and are skilled at staying calm and taking cover but is that a way for kids to spend their lives?

We are all affected, we constantly watch the news scan the internet listen to the radio, we want to know, we need to know, and when we know, we don’t want to know.

Overhead I hear rumblings, booms, thuds, aircraft or helicopters, at first when we were being targeted we went to bed dressed “respectably” in case we had to dash to the safer  houses, we all delayed going to bed in case we had to get up.

Having identified the “safest” area of my prefab home, I soon realized that I wouldn't make it in time to the nearest safe room, so I stay put cover my head with a pillow and pray.

There is an incredible “war spirit” here, people collecting snacks and essentials for soldiers , attending funerals and Shiva’s of our fallen boys, looking after the families of the chaylim; the love of each Jew for each other is heightened at times like this. 

Unlike our enemies our government is committed to saving the lives of and protecting every single citizen.

This is not a time to be alone,last Shabbat a groups of us joined forces for meals and support this Shabbat I am not sure how many overseas girls are eating at my home I have room for seven in my tiny prefab but we could always take the meal outside.  We are reaching out to one and other in many simple ways.  It is reported that over 15,000 Israelis attended the funeral of lone IDF soldier Max Steinberg, we are paying our respects and saying thank you for the ultimate sacrifice the only way we know, with one voice and heart.

It’s only been 16 days so far; It feels so much longer, my normal strength and resolve when fighting personal medical battles has almost disappeared, I find myself feeling tired and emotional; so tired of the endless lists of red alerts and sirens, so tired of the endless Anti-Israel and Anti –Semitic news reports, so sickened by the endless list of casualty’s, so worried for the sanity of our people living under the constant barrage of missiles coming over from Gaza.

I am tired so tired; I dread every news report but I am addicted to knowing what is going on; from the news reports we see the faces of our heroes, and the listings of our casualties; one scans the lists, and through the tears for one of our beautiful brave   young sons, there is a little sigh of relief that the name is not one of my sons friends or my friends sons; I don’t know honestly how I would cope with that.

Last night after a day of false hopes, long list, and emotional battering we heard that many airlines had banned fights in and out of Israel. Not that I am in a position leave at the moment  it was quite a blow, a feeling of being trapped; even though the ban was imposed for 24 hours only.

So, yes I have faith and emunah, I do believe our army like our people have God on our side; but enough is enough; too many lives ( on both sides) have been lost, too many children traumatized , too many peoples livelihood’s wrecked, too many mothers ,fathers , wives, children & girlfriends having sleepless nights worrying about their loved ones.

To put this in real terms it has taken me just over 90 minutes to write this blog, in that time over 14 rockets have rained down on Israel mainly in the south.

We are a small, yet strong people; we are not giving up, this nation whose national anthem is about hope, we live in a tiny resilient young county, we are protected by a young brave powerful army but we are human, and we care for and about each other, so we scan the news reports and cry together.

 Stay safe people of Israel,  stay brave people of Israel, stay resilient people of Israel, stay hopeful people of Israel   Am Yisrael  Chai.