This Too Will Pass. In Memory of My Father on his 30th Yartzite.

     

Special Pre Three Weeks Shuir in Memory of Meir Yitzach Ben Avraham Yisroel ( Geoffrey Mark Safier ) for his 30^th Yartzite                                                          Given by Rachelle Silver

On Lunch time Monday 24^th June at 1.15 pm

"This Too Will Pass" –

"A guide to Getting Though the Darkness of the Three Weeks with strength".

As we approach the three weeks I do so with a heavy heart, not only it this historically a time of horrors and trauma for the Jewish people but for all of humanity too.

The 17th of Tammuz is the first of four fast days mentioned in the prophets. The purpose of a fast day is to awaken our sense of loss over the destroyed Temple – and the subsequent Jewish journey into exile.

What Happened on the 17th of Tammuz?

Five great catastrophes occurred in Jewish history on the 17th of Tammuz:

• Moshe broke the tablets at Mount Sinai – in response to the sin of the Golden Calf.
• The daily offerings in the First Temple were suspended during the siege of Jerusalem, after the Kohanim could no longer obtain animals.
• Jerusalem's walls were breached, prior to the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE.

• Prior to the Great Revolt, the Roman general Apostamos burned a Torah scroll – setting a precedent for the horrifying burning of Jewish books throughout the centuries.
• An idolatrous image was placed in the Sanctuary of the Holy Temple – a brazen act of blasphemy and desecration.

Agonizing over these events is meant to help us conquer those spiritual deficiencies which brought about these tragic events. Through the process of "Teshuva" – self-introspection and a commitment to improve – we have the power to transform tragedy into joy. In fact, the Talmud says that after the future redemption of Israel and the rebuilding of the Temple, these fast days will be re-dedicated as days of rejoicing and festivity.

As we look around us this time of the year is a time of horrendous and tragic news that’s is not just effects the Jewish people but all mankind. As we approach the three weeks and throughout the three weeks I steel myself for all kinds of shocking, depressing, and alarming events to be broadcast and constantly say  to myself this too will pass.  

So why do we have to go through dark and desperate times? Let's go back a bit and look at the Torah.

 Look  at the end of  Bəmidbar ,it says "these are the journeys of the Israelites, who left Mitzriam ( Egypt) in organized groups under the leadership of Moshe & Aharon; Moshe recorded their stops along the way as Hashem commanded. " 

For the next forty three verses the Torah lists every single one of the   42 places that the children of Israel stopped and camped in the desert on their way to Israel.  What makes these 42 stops important enough to list in the Torah?   

Each one of the forty two stops on the very lengthy challenging   journey from Egypt to Israel marked a step of assent to a higher level to become closer to Hashem

According to the Midrash, each stop constitutes another step towards their goal. which was complete spiritual commitment and total belief in Hashem and his greatness. As well as to enter the Promised Land.

Therefore listing each stop will remind generations to come, that although the journey was arduous and full of setbacks and dark times, but in the end the Children of Israel reached their destination.

The Torah presents a pattern for all Jewish people,  and  for every neshama that comes into this physical world: we all are meant to go through 42 major trials from the time of birth till re return our soul to our maker; during that time we will all experience a number of assents and descents of varying intensity, highs and lows, light and darkness till we grow. Each trial or stop we have will take us to the next level of our personal journey. We halt, we cry we despair, we feel inadequate, and then we make it through.

In The book " The Garden of Emunah" by Rabbi Shalom Arush", he reminds us that Hashem only sends us trials and tests  to prompt us  to turn to him, when everything is going along hunky dory , we fall into a trap and can forget that everything comes from Hashem. When we pray and call out to Hashem from the bottom of our heart that strengthens our connection and our Emunah.  Emunah & Prayer is our amour in our battle against dark, distressing & challenging times in our life.

I liken the three weeks to a personal journey that I have to take every year, as It approaches I notice the news not only in the  Jewish world but the international world is grim, things happen that are scary to say the least, I prepare to  enter a long dark tunnel that has an uneven surface, I trip, struggle, bang myself, get up heal, move forward  trip again:

I remember this is from Hashem, heal a bit quicker move further forward  and then trip again but this time as I get up I see a dim light at the end of the tunnel, with strength from Emunah, prayer and resolve I move towards the exit, with my battle scars but stronger for the journey.

Sometimes when we dread something more than anything we make the situation worse than it is.

I was incredibly close to my Father, he was not just my father, he was my friend and advisor, an incredibly intelligent creative humorous human being. We could talk about ANYTHING. He was the first foodie I ever met and would advise me on flavors, his eye for color cut and fashion made him my clothes shopping buddy of choice, his knowledge of antiques and history would have us talking at great lengths, while his observation of human nature mixed in with humor would have me giggling down the phone line during our twice daily phone calls.

My father wasn't an observant man, but he taught me to be polite, to care for your fellow Jew, and if you don’t have money to give to others to give your time. He taught me to always see the other persons side, and that everyone has a place in this world and deserves respect.

My  close friends knew that My father was the most important person on the planet for me, and me for him, his increasing ill health was an persistent  worry for me. I use to say "What I will do when my father dies".

My friends and I expected me to crumble, many thought I might never recover.

On the 18^th Av, 30 years ago, my father suddenly without warning, at the age of 56 returned his soul to his maker he had been joking with a nurse, laughed smiled had a major stroke and died in a matter of seconds. I had seen my father 48 hours earlier, prior to my visit to the North of England for three days. In the days preceding cell phones, from a public phone box in a country pub near Durham, I phoned where I was staying in Newcastle, to say I had been delayed and to eat without me, they told me the police had been and my Father had died.

It was seven hours after his death that the light went out in my life. I screamed the loudest scream I have ever heard leave my body, collapsed on the floor and apparently said nothing but "no, no no", for four hours of the overnight drive back across the country. Stopping at phone boxes and a good friend overnight to arrange, my father's Funeral people were informed of his premature death as the pennies ran out.

I sat Shiva on my own, my parents were divorced and he had no siblings or other children; some brought me the book the Jewish way in death and mourning, I was fascinated. On the last day of the Shiva I didn't leave my bedroom, hiding away from reality, the prayers went on without me. My grandmother (my mother's mother) came to my apartment the day I got up from Shiva, and she said today we will walk round the block together. This she explained was so my first encounter with the outside world someone had  to accompany me on this walk: I lived by the sea, the wind blew through my hair, I walked with someone who loved me and whom I loved, I realized that  although life would never be the same, I could and would survive.

Out of the depths of my grief I started an ongoing dialog with Hashem, I asked for strength to get through, I asked for the ability to believe that all things are for a reason.

From the lowest point of my enveloping darkness and despair 16 long months later I reached the pinnacle of pure unadulterated Joy. As my newborn baby son was placed in my arms. As I looked down and saw his face, I knew that I had come through a very dark place into sunshine. 

The three weeks is a difficult desperate period.

You will feel stressed, confused, dark times, discombulated.

Situations and people might feel out of control.

The way to get through this is multi-facetted

Remember and keep reminding yourself everything in life  is  from Hashem, it is heaven sent  every little thing is for a purpose , some we do not understand, we don’t want to even try, just accept it with pure Emunah… kicking against something won't change things and will only make it worse.

Every time you hear bad news or feel distressed say to yourself this is the time of bad news this too will pass

 

Think before you act and speak: historically this is a time of conflict. Also Frayed tempers On Sunday, 28 June 1914, at approximately 10:45 am, Franz Ferdinand and his wife were killed in Sarajevo, the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire by an angry young man, one Gavrilo Princip, 19, the event led to a chain of events that eventually triggered World War I.   This broke out during the 3 weeks, an event in the wider world that greatly affected European Jewry.

 

 

Every time you stumble, arm yourself with prayer and Emunah, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov said "life makes warriors of us all to emerge the victor we must aim our self with the most potent of weapons, Prayer."  So you're in that tunnel, you stumble, it’s a setback, but you can get through with prayer.

 

If we think back over our history we as individuals or as a people have survived seemingly unbearable pain but we have come through with strength.

Yosef, was thrown into prison, but we learn that all times he danced , his demeanor got him through, he was polite and cheerful, the guards warmed to him, he was released to the most powerful position in Egypt.

More recently when in camps the Jews marched to the gas chambers defiantly, singing "Ani Ma amin, be emuno sh'laymo.  I believe with complete faith "  from the 13 principals of faith. When others faced with this kind of situation would have run kicking and screaming, as Jews we walked with our heads held high believing that everything that everything comes from Hashem.

The three weeks is a test we have to go through every year, but with Emunah, love for your fellow Jew, prayer understanding, you will get though that tunnel, So hang on to your seats this will be a bumpy ride,  Don’t lose  site of the end of the journey, you will get through. This time will pass, As they say in the classics what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, Out of dark and difficult times come amazing strength and good times; the Maharal of Prague reminds us that after the three weeks of complete darkness and in some cases despair that our future redeemer is to be born on the 9th of Av. May Hashem grant you all the insight and strength & Emunah to get through & may we we see the redemption of our people soon.