CITY GIRL ??

I have always thought myself a city girl , being brought up in a seaside town that was less than one hour by train from London, with all the amenities of a big city. I rarely lived further than four minutes walk from the local shops, five minutes from public transport.
Whereas many of the students at my exclusive private girls school would retreat to their family farm for a weekend, I use to enjoy pounding the pavements of the shopping centre, browsing the fashion boutiques that sprung up in the sixties, or hanging out in a coffee bar as a sport.
As the archetypal wandering Jew I have moved around in my life but apart from 1 year in the 1980’s where I lived & worked ,with my ex husband, in a community for adults with special needs,isolated in the middle of a country village, my residences have always been in a city or at least a very large town.

My attempt at learning to drive failed, largely because there was never really the need , especially in the city where public transport was adequate ,and in some cases preferable .
My wardrobe was geared towards British city life incorporating the slightly more colourful side of orthodox ladies conservative style .
My head covering was wigs with the occasional hat for wet days, and you never saw me go out of my door without a full make-up, or at the very least my eye make-up and a manicure.


Five years ago I came to Bat Ayin to be the Em Bayit ( Dorm Mom) of an small women's anglo Midreshet . It was apparent that the first thing I had to do was change my shoes, I invested in comfortable and practical Neots, the Israeli non glamorous but very hard wearing staple. http://www.tevanaot.co.il/classic a must for the rocky terrain , secondly I adopted the layered Bat Ayin mode of dressing, trousers for warmpth under skirts, a bo ho chic that comes from shopping in the Bat Ayin Store http://www.taliadesign.co.il/en/bat-ayin/ or the gemach shop. Layers to combat the heat of the day and the chill of the evening in the Judean hills. My stylish wig was soon replaced by colourful coordinating head scarves woven into a crown of Jewish feminine pride worn high on my head.


Against all odds .it was not just my exterior appearance that changed, but my lifestyle and attitude of mind too. As the Judean hills wore away at this truly British persona I became more at one with my surroundings; I have always prided myself with being adaptable and flexible, however at 56 as I was then, to uproot and move to a rickety drafty caravan, at the bottom of a dirt track , deal with regular power cuts, slow internet, spasmodic postal service, an inadequate bus service (and when I arrived no local supermarket ( that came after 3 years)) not to mention the snakes and scorpions took some testament of faith and staying power.

This city girl would soon be found digging up a pumpkin for lunch, killing scorpions with in blink of an eye & climbing up the long steep hill to hitch-hike out of the yeshuve much before most self respecting folk in "blighty" had had their early morning cup of English breakfast tea .


Living in a yeshuve and working as an Em bayit brings one closer to nature for sure, but more importantly it it is a giant leap of faith, when feeding ten hungry young women and nine unexpected guests with no local supermarket and the village shop is shut, you learn to rely on the garden and store cupboard.
When a bride to be announced five days before her wedding she hadn't got a dress, one relies memory ( who in the yeshuve is her size and height and might still have their dress) & on the kindness of others to lend and share.
One soon begins to realise that there is no such thing as luck or coincidence , but as the tremps ( hitch hikes ) are offered to exactly the destination you wish to travel to, when exactly the amount of money you need to pay a bill is arrives out of nowhere, when the gemach has a delivery of just your size good as new sweaters as the seasons change ,when everything you need ( not everything you actually desire) actually falls into place you see the hand of Hashem in your daily life on a practical everyday basis.

I live in a small very modest two room prefabricated bungalow, one step up from a caravan .it is compact and all my worldly goods fit on a kind of organized fashion , with exception to my books that bulge from every shelve. My home would fit into an average US living room ! I can cook & entertain guests , I have solar panned hot water, air conditioning, heat, all the water from my home is recycled to feed the garden outside.
From my window I can see the Judean hills, I walk across the garden and can pick wild herbs and garlic ,and in season grapes cherries figs olives and pomegranates .. The “garden” or outside area is home to generations of one family of cats,that come and go , the latest members try regularly to become my domestic pet, and have been named Chupzah, and Chupchik accordingly.
My neighbour keeps chickens who amble around avoiding their paddock mate, a rather large very hormonal pregnant bouncing goat named Pizza. My cat who is very spoilt by yeshuve standards , sports a red collar and answers to Beckham struts around outside chasing mice napping in the sun , preferring freedom to the life of his pampered city counterparts.

My daily life is not what my parents possibly had mapped out for me in their minds. I am sure they would have preferred me to be the provincial middle class housewife married to a successful financially staple husband.
However as challenging as my life is living up my mountain I have after a time of resistance become a country girl, by my door are my outside garden shoes ,I prefer to take a leisurely stroll a down a country lane taking photographs rather than sitting in a smoky bar for entertainment, I would tend to make do and mend than give in to needs, or desires sparked by consumerism.
Nowadays I find the hustle and bustle of the city exhausting, the smell overwhelming and the traffic deafening.
When I do go to the city I do what I must, then beat a hasty retreat to my little home in the country, where I can put my still manicured & varnished nails ,( there are some things this erstwhile city girl will not give up) around a steaming mug of PG tips ,sit in the garden and reflect on a poem that I learnt in my city school over half a century ago




“The kiss of the sun for pardon,
The song of the birds for mirth,--
One is nearer God's heart in a garden
Than anywhere else on earth.” by Dorothy Frances Gurney

COMFORT FOOD

The last few days in Israel have been less than easy, the last 24 hours have been more than difficult,. Yesterday as we were all absorbing the news of a death of a 2 day old baby on our Yeshuve and feeling utterly helpless, the air raid siren rang out loud and clear , What anyone tells you , it takes a few of our precious seconds for one to register that the noise is a siren . I didn't make it to the shelter in time, an almighty boom shook me to the core, my home shook , a picture fell from the wall, the bomb had fallen less than 5 miles away: a fitful sleep came late last night and in the early dawn light I read of fatalities , acts of violence , and heard the soft yet recognizable,boon of rockets falling in the distance .Today Tel Aviv was subjected to acts of terrorism as a bus was blown apart outside an army base....& gunshots fired on a bus near Migdal Oz just four minutes drive from here

Enough, my neighbour and I felt, we needed something to do to distract ourselves and as she has the shelter, and the bigger kitchen ,we pooled ingredients & I adapted a real unhealthy southern recipe to create these
As her son walked in & out, the goat brayed, a friends husband who had been working in the garden was our official taster as we put the world to rights over a cup of tea and warm Organic sweet potato muffins , somehow some of the terror melted away for a few minutes of normality, and we enjoyed an ultimate healthy comfort food !



Low Gluten Organic Sweet Potato Muffins makes around 20


Oven temperature Moderate, 350 Fahrenheit 177 Celsius Gas Mark 4


You need


2 large sweet potatoes around 1 lb in weight, washed and cooked in their skin in a very hot oven for an hour, then take the potato out the skin and mash it and cool it well.You can do this the night before baking



2 cups spelt flour this is low gluten you can use 100% whole wheat


2 teaspoons non aluminium baking powder


1/2 teaspoon baking soda


1/2 teaspoon good quality sea salt


1 teaspoon each of ground cumin,ground ginger ground cinnamon ground nutmeg


1/2 teaspoon ground cloves & ground cardamom


3/4 cup date honey, or you can use Agave ( organic ) if you can't get date honey reduce to 1/2 cup honey


4 large eggs at room temperature not straight from the fridge


1 cup of either coconut oil melted to liquid or organic sunflower oil coconut oil gives a better flavour


1/4 cup grated orange zest


1 teaspoon good quality vanilla


1/2 cup almond/ soya/ or oat milk. almond is the best
.

Put the oven on to heat and place paper liners in cupcake trays.


Mix all the dry ingredients ( flour, baking agents, spices) together in a large bowl


Beat your eggs , add in the orange zest, oil, vanilla, date honey and milk, mix very well


Add your potato to the flour mixture, then add the liquid and beat well you can use a spoon but for lighter muffins use a mixer,for 2-3 minutes


Place in the cake in cases and place in the oven for 17-20 minutes,


Serve warm , with tea,or vanilla Ice cream if there is any left ( ours disappeared very quickly ) you can store them in an airtight tin for 48 hours then reheat before serving or freeze for up to 6 weeks.

Reality Check

The picture was taken at Kever Rochel 14th November 2012 while the local Arabs were firing stones and missiles at the people praying inside . When choosing to make Alyiah to live in Israel, one knows there is a security risk, and in the nearly seven years since my arrival I there has been a war in the north, terrorist attacks, a terrorist murder in the village where I live, continual bombardment of missiles in the south of Israel. One almost becomes immune to the war going on around you and gets on with daily life, offering support to people in affected areas. Last week the war became more personal, on Wednesday while visiting Kever Rochel ( Rachels Tomb) with some ladies from my yeshuve ( village) to daven ( pray) & for a Rosh Codesh farbrengn,a get together to celebrate the new month, the local Arab youth attacked the area with rocks missiles and stones, the army secured the area, and we carried on inside after an hour the all clear was sounded, our group emerged none the worse for wear fortified by Johnny Walker gold label from one of the ladies hip flask! However you could see the faces of some of the women in other groups visibly shocked and shaken. Living in the Gush, there is a risk factor, there have been drive by shooting, cars being stoned, and murders from our less than friendly neighbours but these are not an everyday occurrence. Normally in our village life goes on at a regular pace, babies are born, we celebrate bat and bar mitzvahs, engagements and weddings, people get sick, we come together for funerals and shivas, we support care for , and look out for each other, we laugh over the fact we live in a small village but might not see each other from one month to the next, we send meals in when babies are born, give each other rides to near and far and lend each other cups of sugar carrots or silver foil when the makolet is shut. The scenery is stunning, the life her is not luxury but for the main part we all have what we need if not what what we want to get by. On Friday night just as Shabbat came in and the shul had just started, the siren rang out, many people living here had never heard it before and were not aware of what to to do or where to go. Students from an Anglo midreshet ran swiftly to a neighbour's safe room, other people ran into stairwells and corridors. I was at a friends house who husband is disabled and chronically sick ironically after being shot when serving in the IDF during the Yom Kippur war, we hardly heard the siren over the noise of his oxygen machine, she also has two children one in a wheelchair and one with kidney disease , we sat in her lounge as we realised that there was no way we could get her husband and his breathing machine and the two children into the shelter in time. We pondered about the location of the warning, maybe it was a mistake, maybe the wind set of the siren. After the all clear I went next door, and discovered that a bomb had fallen not that far away, but no one was hurt. The Rabbi's son told me what to do and where to go if the sirens went again. After ensuring my friend was ok and was aware of how to get her kids to safety if the siren went again I went with the Rebbitzin of the yeshuve to check in on and talk to a group of 30 North American sem girls that were visiting the yehuve for Shabbat. I went to bed Friday night dressed in a long housecoat a woolly hat, thick socks, my slippers placed just by my bed, my coat on the end of the bed and my shelter bag packed with medicine, tehillim spare charged cell phone toothbrush spare pants and a picture of my grandchildren, It's a two minute fast trot across an unlit rocky garden to my nearest shelter,the bag is on my door, In the south they only have 15 seconds, This week was a reality check, the ice cold fear and adrenaline rush that kicks in when a siren goes off is unbelievable, I have only had to experience it once but the people in the south are subjected to it every day day in and day out..how can they endure it? It is true to say that life will continue in my sleepy village at the same pace, however the reality of Israel at war has hit home. Outside of the village there will be fatalities there will be grieving parents, and spouses, there will be traumatised children, then life will continue although for some it might never be the same. May all my friends and their families stay safe May all the people in the south stay safe and strong. May this conflict end soon and life return to peace in our precious little country very very soon. Have a good and safe week.

Making Memories Eliana's First photo shoot!!!! 21st October 2012

A free scrapbooking design by Smilebox

A New Life

 This morning at 1.47am Israel time  17.47pm Kansas Time , Miss Yummy, entered the world at the Natural Birth center Overland Park Kansas.  Miss Yummy Silver  weighed in at an amazing  9lbs 6oz and 22 inches long… she looks just like her father did when he was born.

When I heard months ago I was going to be a grandmother  for the second time, I couldn’t  believe anything would feel as amazing as when my grandson was born. 
However this morning when I heard I had a granddaughter I burst into tears of happiness… I thought of all the bonding things that girls and their grand mothers do, all the rows of frilly dresses I had passed by over the years, but mainly about the special relationships that fathers and daughters have ,and how blessed my son will be to enjoy this relationship.
My heart burst with unconditional  love when I heard her  ‘voicing her needs”  to  her parents when on the phone.
Right now  I hold her in my heart , and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms…and plot all things pink and frilly ( Just kidding Daniella!!)
I don’t know what  Hashem has planned for this young lady, I only know that she is born  to two  amazing loving and responsible parents, who will give her so much love support  guidance and understanding she will have the best of starts in life. I have seen how they bring up their son and I am so proud of them.

Little lady, this is your first day on this earth,you don't know your destiny ...your are to little to have objectives beyond your next feed. However  I your Yaya wish you only health & happiness, that you grow up  strong and caring, that you learn and understand   how much you are loved by all the family, you learn the importance of friendship and community. You understand appreciate enjoy  and are proud of your heritage and religion . You are not afraid to stand up for the thing’s you believe in, and  try  always to do the right thing by others. More importantly what  ever choices you make in life may they be informed and good choices, you are always true to yourself and you take time to laugh and smile along life path because life is fun!!!.   

Because of distance you might not see me as often as we would like, but your Yaya will always love your big brother & you and be there for you ...

Thank you Hashem  for the safe delivery of this beautiful  baby, into the world, all babies  are miracles in their own right, they are all special, but excuse me while I kvell over the newest Miss  Silver, and wish her Parents, and Big Brother,the  other grandparents,  great grand mother ,Uncles& Aunts and the whole extended family   a hearty mazel tov  on our own special bundle of joy as a family we are truly blessed. 

May Hashem make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rochel  & Leah,
May Hashem bless and keep you,
May Hashem shine his countenance on you, and be gracious to you,
May Hashem lift his countenance  to you  and grant you peace.

Amen ...

Baruch Dayan Emet Ayala Pamela bat Leah

When I first moved to Israel and to Jerusalem a good friend of mine said ,"Jerusalem is a city but   you will keep meeting and seeing  the same people till you are convinced that city only has 200 inhabitance.”
Yesterday afternoon, the global village of Jerusalem, Israel and the world lost one of its own,  as the  of soul Ayala Pamela bat Leah left  earth to take its place in the world to come, it seemed that not only the whole city of Jerusalem  but globally.  people were sharing the loss of this vivacious, fun loving  , shining, courageous lady.
I had never formally been introduced   to   Ayala  Pamela bat leah  but I had seen her around, and had been struck by her smile, warmth radiated from her across a shul or a room. Ayala Pamela  bat Leah  was a true friend to many friends of mine.
Yesterday her mother wrote that she "held her but couldn’t save her”. As a mother I can’t imagine anything worse..... My heart went out to her I wished I could heal the heart of her mother, her sister ,her husband, her children and all her friends,  but there are no words.
A few short weeks ago  Ayala Pamela  was diagnosed with  cancer,  during the space of her short but  sever  illness she   touched the hearts of people all over  the world ; social media was used for the good,  tehillim was said, challas baked, money donated, shuirs given, mitzvahs taken on  in her name; all over the globe. This outpouring happened not just in Jerusalem, but in community’s as far apart as Johannesburg, London, New York, Kansas, Toronto  and LA . We  all came together with one heart  to support  Ayala and her family.
We must not think this was in vain, for every prayer, every mitzvah, every thought,  not only supported  but comforted and possibly added to the life of this special young woman. Moreover, importantly we were all linked  together  as one, as Am Yisroel should be ;  I am no doubt that in zehut of  the mitzvots she gave us all ,that  Ayala Pamelas  neshama will rise to great heights  in Gan Eden.

None of us know what is round the corner in life, we say Baruch Dayan  Emet,  Hashem is the true judge, when we hear of a death.However when you are  battling cancer or you are a cancer survivor,  hearing of the death  of someone  with this illness makes one question ones own mortality, almost makes one feel guilty for fighting and winning the fight ; Let us unite in Ayala Pamela’s   zehut  and pray for all the cholim of Am yisroel.
May he   who comforts all the mourners of Zion and  Jerusalem hold the mother, sister, husband  children .all the family and friends of this amazing  courageous young woman  in his heart, and give them strength and comfort  in the days ahead.  
Although a light has  gone out in Jerusalem I have no doubt that her Neshama  is shinning brightly  from above .
Thank you Ayala Pamela for increasing my kavana when davening and  uniting Am Yisroel in prayer and good deeds.

Let Them Eat Cake ( with apologies to Marie Antoinette)

In most families everyone has a signature dish, our family is no exception. When I  reflect on my family gatherings and food, I am spiraled back to  a whole  space of childhood memories, of smell and flavors that would arouse anyone’s pallet . I come from a family where food was important, twice a week I would visit each set of grandparents  for a meal, Tuesday was Grandma Anne and Grandpa Bobby, Grandma Anne  was not a gourmet cook by any standards, but she made the best grilled fish and mashed potatoes I have ever tasted, her Klops or meat loaf with rice and potatoes was stick to your ribs hearty food, but the pinnacle was her Yorkshire pudding  which magically rose to giddy heights every time tantalizing the young taste buds of my cousins and I!   
Grandma Renee, loved being in the kitchen, she made meltingly succulent roast lamb with home made mint sauce, meat pies, and stuffed rolled place parcels  in a lemon and parsley sauce that I secretly prayed she would serve each week!! The recipe for her crumbly fruit "lunch" cake died with her and its one of my greatest culinary regrets that try as I might i could never reproduce this wondrous dish,
When my mothers family got together each of the three sister my grandmother and I  would produce our  "special"  desert   lest the over laden table didn’t  give us enough calories .
My mother is famed for her bannoffie  pie, also  her three tier incredibly gooey and delightful chocolate fudge cake ( so amazing that even after my parents were divorced my father would ask me  “is your mother making  you a chocolate cake for your birthday?” and when I answered in the affirmative he would say “sneak me a piece”.)
My Aunt Helen would arrive with a baked new York style cheese cake that was so soft and light and creamy with that great crunchy base that would be wolfed down as soon as it was placed on the table.
To my mind no one in the world can make a plate apple pie like my Aunt Alma, try as I can and believe me over the years I have tried, no one or nothing can replicate  the crisp light yet crunchy melt in your mouth pastry partnered with perfectly cooked lightly sweetened apples served warm with vanilla ice cream.   
I was always tasked to make my black forest gateaux time release sherry trifle , or original bake well tarts and  always flapjacks ( the British version).

Despite all this  no family simcha  was ever complete without my grandmother   arriving with an enormous tray of her honey cake. She arrived at Yom Tov , family meals, birthdays, engagements, Brits,  and "family get together s"  with a sometimes slightly tinged but always made with her entire heart,  honey cake, tray clutched in her hands; to distribute with unconditional love to all her family and friends. 
If you were lucky enough to visit my grandmother on baking day you could watch her beat this magical cake mixture together while telling you about her day, as we sat together  in the lounge; drinking tea . awaiting the moment to pull the cake from the oven. the fragrance of warm honey and cinnamon would waft around her flat tempting one and all. 

Its getting to that time of year when we all start searching for a recipe  &  baking honey cake, this is my healthy version of my grandmothers cake, I hope when you make it and share it you will invoke or create delightful memories  for all your family and friends. Remember  this care is made to share  with a smile to one and all, after all  if you are a grandmother you want nothing more  than to  add sweetness to your family’s life at any time of the year( but especially at the  beginning Ellul ) so what better way to do it than  letting them eat (healthy) cake!

Bubba Silvers Honey Cake (Spelt Version)

No mixer needed make by hand like my Grandma!
3 Eggs
1 1/3 cups organic  honey
1 1/2 cups  organic brown  sugar
1 cup strong black coffee
2 tsps. Baking powder
1 cup good quality organic sunflower oil. 1 tsp. Baking soda
4 cups whole grain organic spelt flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon all spice
½ teaspoon dry ginger
Flaked almonds (optional)
A large helping of family pride and love (essential!!)


How to make it!
1. Preheat oven to 325./170/ gas mark 3.
2. Line grease and flour a 9 by 13-inch cake pan. 
3. In a large bowl, beat eggs and honey together.
4. Add sugar and mix again. 
5. Mix coffee with baking powder, and then add with the oil  to the egg mixture. 
6. Add baking soda, flour, and spices and beat together well. with  a big smile  and a large helping of family pride and love!
7. Pour into lined and prepared cake pan sprinkle almonds on top.
8. Bake for 55 minutes to an hour. Test with a tooth  pick to check its done